Grow up would you?

People have told me too many times that I need to grow up. Well, I want to know what I need to grow up from and grow up into. I am fairly mature and I am very professional when I am at work. But when I am at my own time, I like other things. I like to listen heavy stuff, which I include Goth, Industrial, hardrock and metal. I like to fancy things there are dark. I like to wear dark colour. I still think wearing Doc Marten is cool. It is also cool to wear black t-shirts, jeans and boots. I still want to be the person that your mother doesn't want you to meet.

ALthough I have did some grown up dressing the last few years, but I have had enough of it. I am dressing up again.

not a lone wolf anymore

Not much to say today, but I was pissy at work. I left work around 4pm. Everyone was concern about me. I will be okay as I still adjusting to life in a office. I am no longer a lone wolf as I have been for the last 6 years.

I can't get with the programme

It is a common knowledge that I don't like pink. I will never wear anything pink. I don't mind women wear pink, but I can't my woman wearing pink either. Actually, I don't my woman wear pink, if that is her hair colour. or as an accent colour to all the black that she wears. That's it.

I can't stand the colour pink myself.

I can't stand girls/woman that spend the whole god damn day in talking about fashion and boys. FUCK THEM ALL.

11pm and I am still wide awake

I am usually tired at 11pm, but I am wide awake right now. I am so pissed off right now. That's why I rarely go home these days. I am relax when I am not at home. There are just too much for me to handle these days. My soon-to-be ex wife does nothing at our house. The house is a mess and she doesn't mind at all. I am so fucking sick of her right now.

I JUST WANT THAT FUCKING BITCH TO BE OUT OF MY LIFE RIGHT NOW.

she knows one thing and one thing only - how to drain my bank account. She does absolutely nothing. I have slaved to every one for the last few years, and I got nothing in return. She is lazy and does not have any desire to make money. She doesn't know how. I bought her a business but she did nothing with it. She is nothing more than a spoiled princess that need some one to take care of her.

I hate fucking princesses. I have to deal with 2 at work and I don't need to deal with another one at home.

I have been laughing for the last few days

It is ture. I have been laughing a lot for the last few days. Although there are still plenty of shit going on in my life, but I am feeling good once again. I am accepting lots of things right now. I also come to see the light. Although it is the end of my marriage, but that doesn't mean the end the road for me. I still have a long ride in front of me. I am just going to learn from this experience.

I also came to a realisation this weekend that I rushed into a marriage. It wasn't a life that I was ready for. It is too bad that it had to end, but I had a hell of a run. I am ready for more in life. I have been exhausted for the last few years. I need a break from everything.

Granville Bridge

I took these pictures on September 7th, 2006 around 7:30pm on Granville Bridge in Vancouver BC. I was waiting for a friend to join me for small ceremony to begin the next chapter of our live.It was his idea that we should meet up that night on the bridge beck and toss our wedding into the abyss.

He arrived at 7:55pm as I was smoking a petit corona and having a drink of my Crown Royal. At 8pm, he said a breif passage and tossed his ring over his shoulder. He didn't bother looking and it fell into the water without hitting boater.

I was next. I didn't say much, except I tossed mine over the shoulder. I turned around and looked. I wanted to make sure that it really went down. I took another sip of my Crown Royal and another drag of cigar. I was glad that is over and we headed off to the pub for the September Kilts night.

I didn't have lots of emotion that night. I was kinda numb. But it was nice to have friends like him. I didn't feel alone or isolated. I had a pint and lots of pub food before I headed home.

It had been a few days after I tossed my ring. I feel pretty good. I feel like that a big baggage had been lifted off my shoulder. I no longer feel the weight of my marriage. I started to see my life with more clarity. I have become more honest about myself and how I want to live my life. I tried to make it work but I couldn't.

I am going to live my life the way I want.

Ti bike?

I went to a bike to browse yesterday and I have changed my mind about the Cervelo Soloist. A fellow cyclist told me that the quality control isn't the greatest. The front Derailleur hanger was off an inch and will fit only Dura Ace Fd. I am a Campagnolo guy. No Shimano for me.

When I was at the shop, a Titainium bike caught my eyes. The frame, headset and a carbon fork retail for $1495. It is bargain even for a Taiwanese frame. I have no beef with Taiwanese bike at all. With a Campagnolo Veloce 10 speed grouppo, the final price will still be under $3,000. I can live with that, specially a Ti bike will last forever. I am not looking to race and this bike will have lots of enjoyment over a stiff andyet shock absorbing Carbon Bike.

Just like Highschool and I hate Highschool

I work for one of the largest recuritment company in the world and I love my job. The work enviornment is great and the manager would kick us out of the office when she leaves at 5:15pm. There is never much pressure and every one is great.

Then we have a new woman started at out office 3 months ago. She is great, except when she is with another female coworker, they acts like teenagers. They talk like 11th graders and they go every where together. They talk about nothing but boys and how to get boys' attention. Highschool wasn't a particular good experience for me and I have no desire to live like that again. I hated the way they talk and I have to shut my door every time when they are on the phone with each other. Fucking bitches. I just hope one of them leave by the end of the year.

These women are not eactly young and one of them is 36 years old. of course, she complains all day that she can't find a man. I was asked by my manager why I never had a conversation with this coworker. I often thought that we work different schedule and we do different jobs. But in reality, I have nothing in common with this woman. I am going through a differcult time right now and I need more than just chat. I need to be stimulated.

I seriously need another guy in the office. I need some one to chat about sports and stuff. I am finding it more differecult in working in a office as the token male member. No wonder the Regional Vice President, one the 4 guys in the Vancouver, is often on the road.

Thinking about a second job

I am thinking about getting a second job as a bartender on the weekends. I have always wanted to do it, but never had the chance to get into it. I don't want it to be a full time gig, just one night a week. I want to know the feeling of pouring beer all night in a fast pace pub.

A leather kilt?

It is not a secret that I love to wear the kilt. I have been wearing kilts for the last few years and I never have liked the idea of leather kilt. However, the idea of strapping a leather kilt around my waist is growing on me. I am indeed interested in ordering a leather kilt.

As you know, there are more thant a few changes in my life right now and I need to do a few things to embrace my new life. I have been living a fairly standard suburban life. A leather kilt feels like a good idea right now. Yes, it is expensive. It is as expensive as a hand sewn traditional kilt, but I think it is worth it. I want a handsewn tradition as well, but I don't get to go to fancy party all that much in a year. I bet a leather kilt will get more use than a handsewn wool kilt. Besides, I do have a wild side and a leather kilt will help me to unleash it again.

The picture on this blog is from R-Kilt in Strafford, Ontario. He had created some of the best looking kilt in Canada. When I am ready to order, my leather kilt will come from R-Kilt. It will be custom tailored to my measurement. It is likely that I will order it without the cargo pockets. I love the cargo pockets on my Utilikilt, but I want this one to have a more traditional look. I will most likely use a belt pooch to hold my wallet and other related junk.

Many people have said that a man in a kilt is a man and a half. I wonder what people would say about a man in a leather kilt?

This is my future - Cervelo Soloist

This is one of the bikes that I am considering buying. This is a Cervelo Soloist and it is a Canadian bike. The bike is a race machine and was used by the CSC team for their Spring Campaign in 2003. In fact, Bobby Julich won a race on a similar bike.

For a race machine, this bike is moderately priced. Although a Carbonfibre bike from Norco is similar priced to this black beauty, but I like the geometry of this bike better. It is more traditional and the bottom bracket height is an inch lower. It will corner better. When going fast, every inch count.

I also like ther versitility of this bike. It can be raced as a tri-bike with minimal modifications. I am planning to do a few triathlons in the next few years and this is the perfect bike for training and racing.

Giving up is hard to do

Giving up. Letting go. Surrendering. Switching. Done with it. No More.

I never thought that I would use any of those words with mountain biking. I am giving up mountain biking and I am planning to switch my focus on road riding in the next few years. I need a change of pace and there isn't that places that I want to ride any more. I have done XC riding and racing. I have doen freeriding/downhilling with either a hardtail and a full blown full suspension north shore specific bike. I just don't find any of those riding interesting anymore. I don't have movtivation to load up my wagon and head off the hills. I am tired of spending countless hours adjusting the brakes, deraillers and wheels. I am tired of cleaning up the bikes.

I am switching to road cycling. I love to climb and riding on the road is the easiest and the qucikest way for me to regain my form. I can regain my form in less than 6 months. Besides, a light machine is sexy. It is a lot easier to get in a rhytmn on a climb with a road bike. I enjoy the endless climbs. I like to sit for a few minutes and pedal out of saddle for 2 minutes. It is nothing like watching the road disappearing underneath the tire.

I am planning to get something nice and have only 3 bikes from now on: a road bike, a cyclocross bike and a commuter.

It is time to make a change.