home for a rest!!

I am tired from riding today.

I started my bike after I had breakfast with my friend. The temperature was rising and it was going to be the perfect riding weather. I geared up, and set off for Port Moody. I took the long way because I want to experiment with different routes. I rode through Burnaby, New Westminster, Coquitlam and then finally arrived in Port Moody. My new home. I couldn't get into my new condo but the place looked empty. When I arrived at Port Moody, it was nice and warm. For a moment, I thought that I have dressed too warm.

Friday morning Ride

I was going to take my motor bike out today. Unfortunately, It started to snow....

Just paid for my new home

I went to see my lawyer for the paperwork that I need to sign paperwork for my new home!!! I am happy that I will be getting a set of keys to my own place. This will be the first time that I don't have to share a place with some one. The place is all mine. All of it. I can do what ever I want to. i can decorate however I want to!!!

The week is looking up

the week is looking up......

The Start of the week

I won a coffee from Tim Hortons and I had an awesome practice yesterday. Life is good. I can't complain.

Hot women

So I browsed through the hot 99 women on askmen.com yesterday. I didn't care about most of them, in fact, I didn't even find any woman even remotely hot. I like the natural beauty that ooze from the inside. No amount of make up, botox, and silicon enhancements will make a woman beautiful. Only confident women are beautiful. Clothings will help, but not much. Hollywood beauty are common as dirt. They are everywhere as every one is trying to emulate them. Every other woman wants to have their look.

Real woman with their sense of style and confident are hot.

Why I like Guitar hero

I like guitar hero because it is not like other games on the market. you don't play to save the world, but to complete the songs. I love rock and roll, I love guitar and love games. I always dreamed of being a rock star, but having been a business professional in the last few years got off the track from stardom.

Having a few minutes with the guitar, I feel some what alive and it helps me to forget about the troubles that I have.

Good Saturday

I just got home from Jim's Party. I left there around 9 this morning. before I went home, I had to stop at my lawyer's office. I had to make sure that the power of attorney arrived. It was there but my lawyer wasn't. There isn't shit I can Do but wait. The weather is nice and is dry. I may take my bike out for a spin

Good Friday

I got up this morning with the radio on and they were talking about the divorce between Heather Mills and Sir Paul McCartney. There was a lawyer spoke of the family law as well. I am so much better once I heard that. I can paint her as a greedy person and the court will just listen to me. I have a feeling that I am going to win. She is suing based on revenge. I should be okay in the end.

I need a way out

I need a way out and I don't know what to do. I could be looking at 3 law suit against me in a week. Eventhough I am trying hard to stay positive, but I don't know. I don't know what to do. I am confused and scared shitless. I hate not to be in control or knowing my destiny. I have never face the reality that I could loose everything that I have. Damn it, I am not feeling good. I could loose everything because of a greedy bitch in my life.

Do I kill myself or do I face the fact that I have lost everything.

i wanna cry

I wanna cry

Why?

Why is that bitch trying to fuck me over? Does she know that she is fucking with our son's life as well? Can a person really be that selfish and not care about other people? I fucking hate selfish person!!!

Easter Weekend

Easter Weekend 2008 will mean a rebirth of me. Things had changed and there is no point in moaning around or grief about the past. I just had to move on and accept it. I can always make my life better. I am the person in control here.

restored faith in woman

My faith in love had been restored by a certain some one in my life. Although I have yet to go on a date with her, but I already feel like the woman of my dream is out there some where.

What I have learnt about relationship so far.

I just realised the importance of intimacy in a relationship. through out my marriage, there wasn't a lot of that. Although we had sex, but it was very mechanical. i didn't feel like we were sharing anything together. It is more than an act for making babies. It is something for two people to share. It creates a bond between two people. However, I didn't feel anything about a bond. There was a lack of touching and She was cold. It was very sterile as she forced me to wash my hand afterward. Once my finger went down on her, I could not touch her again without washing my hand. She was a clean freak and afraid of gem. She also didn't like to snuggle after sex. She will allow me for a few second of touching. Then she will order to get off her and told me that it is enough. I wanted more than missionary but she couldn't give me more than that.

She also dislike us being close. She always needed space between us. She loved our king size bed, because we have lots of room between us. She also never get close to me when we watched tv. She will take one corner of coach and I will have another. When I made the advance, she will push me off most of the time. When I cook, She doesn't like to stay in the kitchen, In fact I had to hunt her down, because she was trying to fill her void with TV. She doesn't like me to talk during the TV programme because she doesn't want me to interrupt her.

Of course, she never asked me about how my days were. She just didn't care.

SO, I have been messed up by this woman. I was lost for a long time as I just follow her crap and never tried anything different. I was trying to hard to stay in the marriage and cared about nothing. I put her need above me. I can't believe that I stayed in the marriage.

I was, of course, afraid what a divorce may bring. I didn't want to loose a thing. I was afraid of change. but I know that she is just some one one greedy and still a child with no sence of reality.

I am moving on and hopefully I will find the love of my life. I want to marry the love of my life. I want to be with some one who cares about me. I want us to share our lives and hobbies. I want intimacy. I want a relationship.

love of my life

I don't need a partner to make me happy, but I would love to be in a loving relationship where I am appreciated. I want to be loved forever. i wanted to provide for my family and in return, support, and love. I want to kiss my partner when she is preparing our meals. I want to hang out with her in the kitchen while she cooks. I love the kitchen and that is my favourite place. I have no problem in leaving other stuff and devote my focus to the one I love.

I want to find some one to fall in love with. hopefully, I will spend the rest of my life with her.

I was a happily married man once

When I look back at my marriage, I had some good time with my ex. There was a time that I thought our marriage would last. I was very happy when I was in a relationship, but I should have seen the signs of failure a few years ago. I have learnt from this failure and I am going to make my life better because of it. I am going to find some one that I deserve. I wasn't the person for her as I wanted more than what she can offer. I never saw that twinkle in her eyes, but a mind of greed that wants to get out of a situation. She was selfish and only wanted things for herself.

I am tired and I know that I deserve better. I am in search of a partner who I can share my life with. I am not going to take anything less as I can pour my heart out. I can love a person with all of my passion in life. I want to see that passion being ignited in my heart again. I want the fire again. I hope to find that person. As I am entering a phase of my life, I am ready. I am ready to change my life to something that I want. I may have less pressure from my family.

Important things in my life

There are a few things that I can't live without in my life:

• family
• friends
• loving relationship.
  

Finding my strength

I still feel like shit and I am finding my strength through music. The show Must GO on.

I don't understand

I don't understand why shit is happening to me. I am trying to act as good faith toward my ex wife but she still tries to get more. I am not anything to delay the deal and not give her any money. Yet, She acts like I am cheating her.

I am still stressed out

You know, I am still stressed out right now. My ex wife is suing me. I don't know what she is suing me. I may end up with nothing. I may just left with friends, cats and not much else. I may not have a penny left in my name. Seriously, that is the last thing on my mind. I am not sure how this will affect my relationship with my son as I will be without a home...... Staying with friends is the only option. The worse she made this relationship between us, the worse she is going to make the relationship between my son and I.

I am only human and I can be only so strong. I have cracked before and I don't want to go down that road again.

Sick to my stomach.

I am sick to my stomach. I am moving today and I am stressed out. I am a little sad.

Personal Ad

I am replying to lots of personal ads again and I have to wonder why so many people are still single. Some people just have lots of unrealistic expectation for the partners. I know that all of us are looking for perfection, but who is perfect these days?

It seems people are looking for more than love. They are looking for trophies and some one to show off. I have read personal ads that has so much requirements that it disqualified 95% of the population. I try not to discriminate and I will date women from any ethnic or economical back ground. I only ask the women to be comfortable with herself and be independent. I don't ask for lots, just some one who can provide a loving relationship, an open mind, and to share our lives together. Height, weight, annual income and hair colour are not the deciding factors.

Here are some extract from some of the personal ad I read today:

" Requirement to spouse:age range from 31-38 years old,none marriage history.Personal Image:No long/color hair and earings.
Education:must enter college level or college degree prefer-preferably fit to business need-major in Business/Accounting/Computer/Internet&Photographic are plus.Job experience:whatever work for goverment organization and institution or private company,mainly emphasize on you experience in relation to above the major field. "

It reads like want ad for employment. There is no romantic feeling in this ad at all. I expect romance in a relationship, but a business arrangement. I have to wonder whether she will meet anyone from this ad.......

"I'm looking for a guy that's interested in having children, but not necessarily looking for a relationship.

I'm single, and unless I find the man of my dreams, I'd be pretty happy staying single.

However, I would love to have a child (or eventually a couple of them), and was wondering if there's anybody in a similar position.

I would expect that we would share the financial responsibilities of raising a child (proportionately, according to our incomes), and I would expect you to be involved in the child's life, at least on weekends, if not more. This is obviously a long term commitment, so you have to be pretty sure of what you're getting into.

Hopefully, you'll be somewhat attractive, healthy, ideally, university educated, and financially and emotionally stable, as I am as well."

So some one is looking another strange relationship. I wonder how many guys would want to live as a divorce/single father without ever being married!! It is not easy at all. She is definitely selfish and sees her kids as pets. Oh yeah, she is looking for a sperm donor as you want be having sex with her...... Can she just call a sperm bank... of course not, she doesn't want the financial burdens because She wants a man to finance the kid for her. The dad probably have no rights, but will act as a money bag....

Recovery Mode

I had a wicked party on Saturday Night. Lots people came and we had lots of fun. We drank, we smoked, we ate, we danced and we played. I had a hard time taking off boots at the end of the night. It is Tuesday, and I am still tired.

I fucking hate politicians

Our local paper, Vancouver Sun, send a photographer to cover our monthly kilts night. He needed to take some pictures of us because Celtic Fest is next week. Todd Wong invited lots of people because he was the main contact. It was his love for media coverage that got us the shoot.

Todd Wong is a solid promoter of the Kilts Night. He would invite all walks of life to come and share a few pints with us. He applaud him for that because he is going to make us to have a strong presence at Doolin's.

Unfortunately, one of the guests was a Vancouver City Council member. I don't object her for coming to the Kilts night, as she is a McDonald. I didn't mind her bringing up city politic as all because she is who she is.

I felt used because she left right after the pictures were taken. She made up some lame excuses and left. What the Fuck was that. She came out to kilts night because there was a photographer there. The March Vancouver Kilts Night was just another Photo op for her. It wasn't about her, but it was about Kilts Night. now that her face is going to be on Vancouver Sun with us. I don't mind playing second fiddle to friends, but I don't like playing second fiddle to some 2 bits city politicians.

I hope that Vancouver Sun is not going to proclaim her a regular of the Vancouver Kilts night. she is not and I am not sure whether she will be welcome to it. Fuck her..... I hope that she is going to loose her seat, as she pretended to lift my kilt in the picture. I hope that will become a scandal for her and destroy her career.

I like Todd, but lots of his events are becoming political.

Rant over.

Cock fighting sucks

SPCA and the policed busted a Cock Fighting ring in Surrey, BC. They discovered a few cock pits, Weapons that was used during the fights. There were also lots of chickens on the farm. SPCA didn't really know what to do with them, and they were forced to put them to sleep. Some officials were so upset and they were very emotional about it.

Now I have to wonder, Why can't they sell them for $1.65/lb? Once the chickens are dead, they are call food. Cock fighting sucks, but I like chicken. They are tasty. I am going to get some chicken for dinner tonight.

afterthoughts from my first group ride

So I did a group ride today and I didn't really enjoy. Not only that the leader took off without waiting, they were riding really fast. I like to ride fast, but I still need to ride within my limit. I had to push my skill level and my bike to follow them. My 500cc bike was no match to the guys' litre bikes. They have twice the horsepower and half the brain. I am not riding with them again.

Home from my first group ride

I am home from my first group outside of the classroom. It was dry and cold. I didn't dress warm enough because I didn't realise that the weather wasn't going to warm up. I should have worn a pair of long johns and a sweater.

Aside from the cold weather, I lost the guys that I was riding with. They didn't wait when we were cut off from the traffic. A woman took her time in making a left hand turn in front of us. It wasn't save for us to make the right turn. By the time, we made the turn, the leaders were no where to be seen. I rode along with another guy for another 15 minutes, before I left for home.

I have a dragon boat practise this afternoon and I needed to have lunch.